Monday, October 22, 2018

the start of something

The easiest way for me to know that I'm starting to slowly slip into my depression is by looking at my eating habits.  Tonight I had 2 rows of Oreos, an M&M chocolate bar and a small bag of cheezies.   I feel the need to make sure I put in that it was a small bag so I look like less of a pig then I feel.
Today when I woke up it was around 1 so I ended up on the couch and crashed watching Lockup on Netflix.  Before dozing off I knew that today was going to be a shitty day.  I woke up and managed to nag and yell at the boys enough to get them out the door for school on time AWESOME, until I sat on my bed to start getting ready to get dressed when the cloud just hit me right in the face and my body felt like a 2 tonne weight just unwilling to get up.  I was eventually able to talk myself into getting myself up and ready to take R to his day home but all day I was dragging ass.
Im going to try harder tomorrow to get my ass up and going, maybe even hit the gym after being out for a while.  I really want to get back on point but I know that the first struggle is going to be getting my eating back on track and the rest will start to follow. Ill try to post more as I go along on whatever this turns out to be, a blip or setback, we will see
Stay tuned
<3 Christal

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