Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Im a human too

Wow, I took a bit of a break there without actually taking a break from anything.  struggling with mental health, or at least my struggle with my mental health is a constant battle. I was having good days, I felt great my house was clean, I was eating properly and even noticed a change in my weight and confidence.  Fast forward to now I haven't showered in about 3 days, which for me is a long time,  I haven't cooked a proper hot meal in like a week and I've neglected this blog.  I'm not sure why the sudden deflation but it happened. 

Last night was kind of a reality check night for me. I've been trying to bust my ass and stay on top of everything with very little help and let me say that a house of 4 boys gets messy and smelly FAST plus it takes 5 minutes for the laundry to pile to the roof.  I am overwhelmed.  Somehow my anxiety has latched onto this expectation that I should be doing more then I am.  I've let the voices and judgments of others get into my head and make me feel like I am less than I actually am but I am a person.  A person with flaws, values and feelings.  I have things that are more important to me, such as instilling kindness, accepting and loving qualities in my sons and making sure they are good people.  I don't care if their dressers are overflowing with clean clothes I care that they are good friends and that they are accepting, fair and polite.  Matching socks or raising good people? I will always choose to raise good people.

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