Today Rhys and I had a play date and it was exactly what I needed. It had been so long since I've had real friend time and Rhys had a great time playing with his BFF, I even got yelled at when we got home and he woke from his mini nap only to realize we did in fact leave. Trying to get life on track has been difficult, to say the least, and to just have some time with someone I consider one of my closest friends to bitch about life and just be me around felt great and put me in a better mood. It made me realize that in this epic search to figure out a self-care routine I realized that I'm not putting in the time for my friends. I need more time with grownups that don't judge, compare or in any other way make me feel like I'm not doing my best as a mom or person. I need to be around those that don't need excuses for why my house is messy, those that don't judge me when I say my kids have spent all day playing video games and those that are there when I just need to complain about having to buy milk for the 5th time in a week, among other things.
I've always felt like I was alone growing up. Don't get me wrong I had a bunch of friends but I never had people that I shared things about myself with and now as an adult I catch myself, in a way, hiding myself from people, not really giving myself permission to be my true self around a lot of people because lets be honest my true self is a brash, foul mouth, no filter person who says what's on their mind and has a tendency to share too much and scare people off so I just try to hide that side until I feel comfortable and safe.
Tonight as I was getting my planner set up I wrote in big loud letters 'more time with friends' and I've added it to my self-care plan now to just remember to set up more play dates.