Wednesday, August 8, 2018

WTF Wednesday?

In my quest to not make this the most depressing blog ever I'm trying to think of 'themes' for my posts and I was thinking WTF Wednesday might be a good one, especially as a mom of 3 boys.
Heres the first one Let me know what you think.

As a mom to 3 boys there are usually a lot of things I say or questions I ask that I NEVER would have ever imagined saying.  let me set this up for you.  I've been potty training my 3 year old for a few weeks now so I am really used to seeing his naked little tooshie blurring around the house while loudly proclaiming that he will never wear pants or underwear again.  I'm quite proud of how well he has been doing only a few weeks into potty training so I try to not fight too much and let him have a little-naked party time before I distract him with food and wrestle a rage-filled toddler into his ginch and let him go on his way.  Today was quite different though.  R came up the stairs from his room as naked as the day he was born yelling that he likes being a 'nakie butt' and after about 20 minutes of naked running around I asked where he left his underwear and he just stared at me with the biggest guilty sh*t eating grin which any mom of a toddler will tell you that look makes your heart speed up and you slowly start going into panic mode.  After 5 minutes I'm practically begging this insanely hyper boy to tell me where his underwear was, which let's be honest is already a weird ass question but I give up questioning the 3-year-old and go to the 7-year-old who HAS TO know and he did.  It turned out R felt the need to stuff his CLEAN ginch into his damn sippy cup.  At this time my heart has finally calmed down now knowing that I don't have a massive lake of pee to clean up off the rug, poop finger paint all over my wall or any of the other disasters that parents imagine when they are looking for missing underwear.
Naturally, my first question was 'Why did you put your underwear in your sippy cup?' and that is when the idea of WTF Wednesday came up because WTF? Why is that a question? I always thought that telling your kid to not eat rocks or dirt would be the weirdest things I would have had to say to my kids but nope I've said gems like this
-why did you put your underwear in your sippy cup?
-get your penis off the table
-don't put your penis in the shampoo bottle
-stop licking the van window
-stop licking the tv
-stop licking your friend
-stop licking (insert anything here)
-Quit talking about killer clowns
-We pee in the house, not outside the house.

Kids sure do keep life interesting.  If you would like to hear more WTF moments let me know in the comments and I'll make something like WTF Wednesday a weekly thing OR if you have any other ideas let me know.
C <3 

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