Wednesday, August 1, 2018

'My house isn't messy,
its custom designed
by a 3-year-old."-unknown

Cleaning in my house is like an Olympic sport; "How much cleaning can you do before your kid can fu*k that sh*t back up".  Naturally, the more kids you have, the bigger the mess, the more points you get and the winner gets a maid for a year.  As much as I would love a maid I wouldn't bother at all. If this summer has proven anything to me is that 3 boys are gross as hell and when it comes to cleaning 3 boys vs. 1 mom there is no way for the mom to win the golden prize of a clean house. 

If any mom tells you she always has a clean house and/or kids that help clean without a screaming match I call BULLSHIT. cleaning with kids is like spitting into a fan, which I'm pretty sure my sons have been doing.  You work hard cleaning one room then when you finally finish and go to sit down you are surprised with the massive mess your kids created in another room that now you need to clean up and while you clean that mess you know the room just finished cleaning is going to look like a massive garbage heap the next time you go in there.  

Somedays my anxiety takes over and makes me feel like a sh*tty mom for all the unwashed clothes piled high in front of the laundry room door, the sticky spots on the kitchen floor from breakfast when the 3-year-old decided the floor needed a drink and nobody decided to tell me or clean it up.  Doing it all so I can have a clean house is impossible and, realistically, never going to happen so these days I just throw in a load of skid marked ginch, run the dishwasher then start a movie with my dudes because that sh*t isn't going anywhere but my sanity and patience will so I give up hoping for the impossible and enjoy time with my 3 crazies.

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