Saturday, June 8, 2019

Work Work Work

   Now that I'm back in the workforce after being a stay at home mom for almost 11 years is HARD. I'm really struggling with finding comfort and balance in my position.

   I struggle with feeling like I'm somehow screwing everything up at home and at work.  I when I'm at home I worry that I'm not spending enough time with my family and at work I feel like I'm always screwing up.  I cant help but wonder if I'm even in the right field.  I keep telling myself that at some point everything will feel right but until then I'm really struggling with my comfort level.

   I've been having a hard time accepting just how hard it is to not be there for everything with my boys.  Today I missed my littlest boys very first lacrosse goal and my oldest boys lacrosse game.  This has to be the hardest part of being back at work.  I've gone from being there for everything to missing so much in such a short time. 

   I'm sure that I will find a balance and comfort at some point but I know that I also need to make some changes to make this happen.  My boys at the end of the day are my EVERYTHING and matter more to me then anything and being there for them is what takes priority to me.

   What is something that you struggled with while working? Did you eventually find a way to make things work for you better? Leave your response in the comments below.

Until next time,

Saturday, May 25, 2019

Im Back.

I'm Back!
I took a little break from blogging to get myself back on track and now I feel like I'm in the right place to get back into blogging.

When I stopped writing I noticed myself in a downward spiral and I needed to take time let myself have those feelings and then build myself back up and now, I'm a working mom.  I got a job working in the field I was trained for many many moons ago, before my little terrors came along. Its still a little difficult going to work and leaving my baby (who is now 4) home with his daddy but I know he is well taken care of which is the only thing that makes it easier.

I'm getting back to take care of my physical health now that my mental health is in a good place. Its hard though after struggling for so long to get back to eating properly and exercising.  I'm doing better with eating proper portions and better food but I still struggle to get regular exercise.  Now that I'm doing shift work 5 days a week I've put exercise at the very bottom of the list after self care, time with my family and sleep. I really miss my kickboxing class however it no longer exists but I'm going to look into a new class to take sometime soon.

I could really use some suggestions of activities or exercises to try out so please leave a comment telling me your favourite exercise or activity that you would like to try?

Until Next Time

Saturday, November 10, 2018

On the mend

I'm finally feeling better, YAY. I still have a rough cough but I'm able to function better which is great because being a parent when an illness knocks you on your ass is ROUGH.  I love my boys with everything I have but when I'm sick and exhausted and barely able to get through the day I get overwhelmed easily which isn't a good thing with 3 boys who seem to have fun just poking the bear for fun.  The past few days have been nothing but them trying to make me and each other angry and me just trying to get through the days with a fever, dizziness, chills, body aches and pains and constant headaches to name just a few things.  
Last night the boys stayed with their grandparents and today I'm going to be in bed napping until my baby boys come home and I'm hoping that now my cold is getting better it won't take long for me to get back to my normal, less bitchy, self.


Monday, November 5, 2018

Still Sick

I'm starting to feel like there may be light at the end of the tunnel like MAYBE Ill be able to smell at the end of the week. When I'm starting to feel better I'm going to be getting back into the gym.  I've been out so long that I don't feel like I'm as strong, physically, as I was.  I'm really hoping to get back on the work out train soon.  I've been looking on Pinterest to find a good work out routine. 
Hopefully, this evil illness is gone soon and I'll have the energy to work out and write more. Im hoping tomorrow I'll have a better longer post but for anyone that is reading this thank you and let me know if you follow a workout and how you came up with if or found it?

I'm Sick

Well my 30 days of blogging didnt turn out so well but Im not giving up.
I've missed 2 day because Ive been sick. Ive had this chest cold for what feels like forever and, In my opinion, chest colds are THE worst. Im still sick so this post is going to be a short one.

Today my biggest boy had a hockey game, they lost but oh well.  B scored his first goal of the season and it worked out perfectly! It was such a propud momma moment.  seeing his face light up and just how proud of himself he was.  It was at that moment that I realized why we put him in hockey, why I became his team manager and why I go to his games.  To see him grow and get better, I love seeing how proud he becomes when he gets a goal.

Thursday, November 1, 2018

DAY 1 Of 30 Days Of Blogs

Last night after we got home from trick-or-treating and I was on my 5th 'fun size' chocolate bar I had a brilliant idea, I'm going to write a blog post every day for 30 days using random journal prompts or just things I want to write.  I'm sure I will be cursing myself at some point but who cares that will be a problem for my future self to worry about like laundry and cleaning. 

Day 1.
My goals
At the beginning of each month, I come up with a couple goals that I want to achieve and November isn't any different.  This month I came up with 3 goals:

#1 Read and write every day.
 I'm going to read and write for 30 minutes, every day. I will do my writing in the morning while my boys are eating their breakfast which is typically around 6 and it takes them FOREVER so this should give me more than enough time to get a blog written out or work on a story I've been writing.  I will be doing my reading at night as a way to settle down before bed

#2 Drink 8 Glasses of water.
I want to avoid drinking a lot of sugar and water helps flush your system so my goal is to drink 8 glasses.  I will be using my straw cup which I've noticed I drink more when I use it plus its pretty big so for each one I drink I will count as 2 glasses.

#3 Go to the gym or do work out 3x a week.
I want to get back to working out and I have a gym membership that I haven't been using so I have to get back at it.  This month money is pretty tight so instead of just sitting at home stressing and trying to think of something to do I will just go to the gym.  I'm going to have to figure out a plan and make sure I plug it into my planner. 

Hopefully, these 3 goals will help with my mental health and staying on track to achieve my yearly goals.

Wednesday, October 31, 2018


Halloween is my favorite event. As a kid I practically lived for Halloween and not just for the trick-or-treating I loved dressing up and pretending I was someone else, even if it was just for a day.
When I was a kid I was bullied and abused and I had major anxiety and depression so the idea that for just 24 hours I could dress up and be Igor, a hockey player, a witch, doctor anything I wanted to be was a nice break.
Like any kid I loved trick-or-treating.  The candy was awesome but the freedom was the greatest.  We were able to run from door to door around our large neighborhood in the dark with little to no supervision. It was fantastic.  it was one of the only times my brother sister and I were able to get along without fighting.  When we were done and would get home sort through our candy to make trades and I would leave my costume on until the bitter end to hand out candy to my friends when they came around.
Now that I'm a mom I don't dress up but I really love helping my boys dress up in whatever costume they choose.  I don't dress up and trick or treat but watching them do it makes my heart light up knowing that no matter what may be going on they also get that one day a year where they can pretend to be someone or something they dream of being to just escape the harshness that the world can be sometimes.